i am on tumblr once again because i am hella drunk

but goddamn, guys

you know when you wanna hold someone’s hand but you can’t

yeah

whaddup

i’ve had a few drinks and now that i’m typing on this little text box, i realize i kinda miss y'all. i haven’t been on tumblr and a lot has happened since then. a lot of amazing things have come and gone and i must be in a place a hundred times better than where i was, the last time i wrote a post on tumblr.

anyway, i never write long posts here unless i want to talk about something no one i know can relate to, so i’m just gonna ramble about marco pierre white, aka one of my favorite chefs and one of my many, many personal heroes. 

marco pierre white is self-obsessed, hardworking, and possessed by such a passion that he does what he wants to and doesn’t care about what other people think. and that’s why i identify with him a lot.

if you have no idea who he is, he is the gordon ramsay of hell’s kitchen UK, but he was also once the mentor of gordon ramsay. yeah, man. he fuckin schooled gordon ramsay. he was the gordon ramsay to gordon ramsay. he said fuck you to the guy who says fuck you, and the guy who says fuck you did not say fuck you back.

so mpw sold out to knorr, and this was probably years ago but i’m only finding out now. i guess it makes sense–he divorced his wife, went on to travel the UK, meet people who make the best produce available, cook food, etc.

he should be able to do what he wants…

ahh shit i lost the drive to write this post about a third into the post i had in my head. but you know what, this is a good thing. it’s been cool having a lot of people to talk to, and have close friendships with. i no longer feel the need to let everything out on tumblr, because i have people to talk to.

it’s just that now i’m at home, and they’re all asleep, ha ha. but man, i’m really happy. i can never be able to show it in real life, sober, but with words on the internet i can think it over, revise revise revise, see if word use is appropriate, etc., and i can really say, i haven’t been this happy in a long while.

i’ve met some amazing people in college, and i… well i’m really happy! i can’t say any more than that. but tumblr, of all things would know, just how much it takes for me to be happy.

it takes a lot, A LOT, but i’ve also experienced a lot. and i wouldn’t trade it for any amount of money in the world, for fuckin CONTROL of the world. where i am is a place full of good times mixed with the mystique and emotions of a teenage life. man, i sound scattered. but it’s okay, it’s not like anyone uses tumblr anymore, ha h aha haah a.

i’m just really grateful that i have the friends that i have. i often feel i don’t deserve all this good stuff, but i am thankful nonetheless. every single prayer i had in high school has been answered, and more. if i could tell my high school self about everything that’s happened, he’d never believe me.

so yeah, life has been pretty fuckin awesome. so awesome it makes me cry sometimes, and i have some real, deep-seated feelings about how everything has been going great lately. i just have a hard time expressing them, but really, i feel a lot.

man. too hit to finish this post. just wanna tell anyone who still uses tumblr, that i am in a fuckin awesome place. don’t know if anyone would still read this cos y'all also in fuckin awesome places, no longer needing tumblr as a refuge. 

so yeah, sup y'all

Anonymous asked: I remember you when I hear a certain Vaccines song. Hah.

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OK

Anonymous asked: who else are on the line up aside from the strangeness at route on the 23rd? :) excited na ko sa the strangeness!!!

yo! she’s only sixteen, the strangeness, idioms & dispositions, dressed up days, perkywasted, and chairman mouse are playing. tara dala ka ng friends!!! masaya ‘to